Are you tired of feeling disconnected, lonely, angry or unappreciated in your relationship?
Have you and your partner become cold and distant? Are you engaging in frequent or hostile arguments? Do you long to feel connected, wanted, and appreciated? Is there little to no intimacy left in your relationship? Are you hurt and angry over things that have happened in the relationship? Perhaps you are struggling with the devastating aftermath of an affair. Are you dealing with strong feelings of distrust?
Have you been grieving the loss of the relationship that you used to have and struggling to see a way of improving your situation? Maybe you are frightened by the idea of ending the relationship but also frightened by the idea of staying in a relationship that doesn’t seem to be improving. Do you wish that you could find a way to reconnect with your partner, build and maintain intimacy, and get things back to the way they used to be?
Your relationship can improve and healing is possible.
Marriage counseling or couples therapy can be extremely effective at helping couples learn healthy ways of managing their conflict and lack of intimacy. It can help couples maintain, or regain, close, intimate and loving relationships – the kind of relationships that meets the needs of both partners.
In fact, research has shown that couples counseling that addresses the emotional hurt, thoughts, behaviors, and relationship patterns that contribute to relationship distress are very effective at helping couples rebuild and heal their relationships.
Benefits of couples counseling include:
- Increasing intimacy
- Developing relationships that meet the needs of both partners
- Maintaining or regaining feelings of love and positive regard
- Improved acceptance of personal differences while also making positive changes to better accommodate the needs of both partners
- Addressing patterns of withdrawal and distance
- Interrupting patterns of frequent or intense conflict
- Dealing with feelings of loneliness and isolation
- Improving communication skills and coping skills for dealing with relationship distress
Many couples struggle in their relationship.
It is normal for couples to have difficulty maintaining their relationships over time. As time passes, couples often find that they become more and more polarized and their major areas of conflict and hurt become increasingly sensitive. When this happens, couples typically start engaging in a number of different patterns. Sometimes, one partner will distance themselves while the other tries in vain to engage with them.
Other times, both partners will simultaneously distance from each other or try to engage in a way that leads to frequent arguments. Over time, these patterns of interaction can create emotional pain, distance, lack of fulfillment, and erode the fabric of the relationship. While painful, it is quite normal to have difficulties like this. Relationships do not come with an owner’s manual!
But you may still have questions or concerns…
We’ve been to marriage counseling before and it didn’t help. How do we know this will be different?
When therapy has been unsuccessful in the past, it can be quite disheartening and easy to become pessimistic about your chances for success. It is normal have doubts like this, particularly given the fact that you have no control over your partners responses to treatment. While there are no guarantees in therapy, I can say that I specifically specialize in working with couples who are in distress, and I have worked successfully with many couples who had previously unsuccessful therapy.
I am afraid that you will take my partner’s side.
This is a very understandable concern. In fact, sometimes couples have been to couples counseling before and felt that the therapist joined with their partner in blaming them for the problems. Sometimes this is a sign that couples have been to a therapist who was not highly trained and experienced in working with couples. I work hard to stay neutral and I will not take sides because I don’t believe that either of you is solely to blame for the problems in your relationship. I believe that over time you have found yourself in negative patterns of interaction and that all of your behaviors make sense, given the context of your relationship. I see your relationship as having areas of strength and vulnerability and that you are both responsible for the roles that you play in relation to one another.
It’s too late! Our problems are far too big and numerous, and I’m afraid that we are beyond help!
It is normal for couples who are trying to resolve chronic, longstanding, and/or severe problems to feel overwhelmed, helpless, and hopeless. However, I have worked with many couples who have experienced an overwhelming feeling of relief when they are able to reframe their situation and begin to realize that the problems they have been facing are not, in fact, insurmountable. There are many costs associated with ending a relationship, and many couples who have come back from the brink of separation, report that their relationship is stronger than it ever was before.
What is unique about working with you?
Good question. Here are some of the things that are unique about my experience and my style as a therapist.
I have extensive training and experience in marriage counseling and I work hard to help clients heal from the wounds of relationship distress.
I have had considerable success working with couples who have previously engaged in unsuccessful therapy.
I work to identify the underlying problems in the relationship and help couples find new ways of relating to each other about these issues. Clients often report that they experience me as a warm and inviting person, and that I am easy to talk to and confide in. I work with heterosexual, homosexual, and non-traditional family units with equal amounts of respect and affirmation.
What next? I’m ready to get started!
Call 314-914-5762 for a free initial phone consultation or click the button below. I am happy to answer any questions that you have.